Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Can I color on your dick again?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
