how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
