walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
