i just google imaged poop.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
