i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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