Your mouth is God's brothel.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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