Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
