grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
