i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
