if only i could text you this smell
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
