a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize