Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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