i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
