That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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