Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
