Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
