Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
