my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
