wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
