If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
