Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
