I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
