I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
