my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
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