So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
