ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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