bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
