Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
