garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
