Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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