sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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