i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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