let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
