I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Randomize
