so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
