no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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