and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
