its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize