you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
