i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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