it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Randomize
