She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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