ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
