Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She told me I should be a condom model.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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