why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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