Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
