why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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