It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
