Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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