dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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