her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
