I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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