I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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